The Human Desire for Approval
From the beginning of time, humans have been driven by a deep need for belonging. Psychology affirms this truth. Abraham Maslow placed “love and belonging” as a foundational human need, just above food and shelter. More recent neuroscience studies show that receiving social validation activates the same reward centers in the brain as material rewards such as money or food (Lieberman & Eisenberger, 2009).
This concept explains why so many today equate the approval of others with validation of their worth, morality, and even salvation. Applause becomes a badge of honor, while God’s eternal standard becomes secondary.
Yeshua addressed this clearly in Matthew 6:1 (NKJV):
> “Take heed that you do not do your charitable deeds before men, to be seen by them. Otherwise you have no reward from your Father in heaven.”
The danger is subtle: when validation becomes the goal, holiness is quietly neglected.
The Trap of Seeming
There is a growing tendency to say the right words and agree with the right group—not out of conviction, but out of convenience. It creates the illusion of faith without the substance of it.
The Pharisees embodied this spirit. Outwardly religious, inwardly corrupt. In Matthew 23:27 (NKJV), Yeshua declared:
> “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which indeed appear beautiful outwardly, but inside are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness.”
The modern Church is not immune. When words are divorced from genuine obedience, newcomers to the faith see hypocrisy, not hope. And many walk away before ever encountering Christ Himself.
Truth Must Be the Measure
When evaluating faith or moral claims, the standard cannot be applause, ego, or group agreement. The measure must be truth, and for believers, that truth is God’s Word.
2 Timothy 3:16–17 (NKJV) reminds us:
> “All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.”
This means that any teaching or lifestyle that flatters the ego while ignoring Scripture is counterfeit. And Yeshua Himself warned of the eternal consequences in Matthew 7:21–23 (NKJV):
> “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’”
This sobering truth shows us that mere appearance is not enough. Only obedience born of genuine faith will stand before the throne of God.
A Word for Our Cultural Moment
In our current climate, the tone of cultural and spiritual life feels unsettled. There are gatherings that call themselves revivals. There are movements that invoke the name of Christ.
But we must ask: What exactly are they reviving? Who exactly are they following?
A revival that does not lead to repentance is not a revival. A movement that fuels pride, division, or anger while cloaked in religious language is not led by the Spirit of God.
1 John 2:4 (NKJV) cautions:
> “He who says, ‘I know Him,’ and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him.”
And James 1:22 (NKJV) emphasizes:
> “But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.”
The unrest in our times should awaken us, not to more performance, but to deeper authenticity.
Being Over Seeming
This issue ultimately comes down to identity. Will we live to seem righteous before others, or will we live to be righteous before God?
Authenticity means letting Scripture shape us, even when it convicts us. It means laying aside ego, even when applause feels good. It means remembering that God sees beyond words, beyond posts, beyond reputations—straight into the heart.
Hebrews 4:12 (NKJV) reminds us:
> “For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.”
The measure is not how we look to others. The measure is whether Christ truly lives in us.
A Call to the Reader
Pause and reflect: Am I living to be seen or to be faithful?
Am I chasing approval, or am I chasing Christ?
Do my words flow from genuine conviction or from a desire for applause?
Verses to Remember
Galatians 1:10 (NKJV)
“For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I still pleased men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ.”
Matthew 6:6 (NKJV)
“But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly.”
1 Samuel 16:7 (NKJV)
“For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
James 1:22 (NKJV)
“But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.”
Matthew 7:21 (NKJV)
“Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven.
Cognitive Tools
1. Spot the Approval-Seeking Thought
Write down moments when you feel the need for others’ approval. Ask yourself:
“Am I doing this to honor God or to be seen by others?”
“If no one praised me, would I still do this?”
This helps bring hidden motivations to light.
2. Challenge the Belief
Ask:
“Does Scripture support the idea that I need others’ validation for my worth?”
“What does God actually say about my identity and salvation?”
Example: “If they don’t approve, I’ve failed.” → Replace with: “My acceptance comes from God alone. ‘I am accepted in the Beloved’ (Ephesians 1:6, NKJV).”
3. Reframe the Action
Choose a faith-driven action over an approval-driven one.
Share kindness without announcing it.
Pray in secret (Matthew 6:6, NKJV).
Serve in ways that may never be applauded.
4. Reflect and Redirect
At the end of each day, ask:
“Did my actions today reflect being or just seeming?”
“Where can I realign with God’s truth tomorrow?”
Daily Affirmations
“I live to please God, not man.”
“My worth is not measured by applause but by the cross.”
“God searches my heart and knows me fully.”
“Faith is not performance—it is surrender.”
“I am chosen, loved, and secure in Christ.”
Verses to Remember
Galatians 1:10 (NKJV)
“For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I still pleased men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ.”
Matthew 6:6 (NKJV)
“But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly.”
1 Samuel 16:7 (NKJV)
“For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
James 1:22 (NKJV)
“But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.”
Matthew 7:21 (NKJV)
“Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven.”
Beloved, there is freedom in being rather than seeming. Christ calls us to authenticity, not performance. To holiness, not applause. To Himself, not our egos.
The invitation is open: to return, to repent, to rest in Him. For only in Him will we find the joy of being truly known, truly loved, and truly home.
Amen.
THE CS COLUMN 